Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
