I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
