Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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