The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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