my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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