actually, I'm a sock model
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
as a side note pls kill me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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