therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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