She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
