3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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