so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You were trust falling into bushes
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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