Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
