Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
