Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
