I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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