Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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