can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
