Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
