Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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