Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
