The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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