I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
