Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
