I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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