"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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