The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
