Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
