even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
