I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am spending my child support on dildos
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Randomize
