he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
