Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.

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(206): View more from Washington

And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself

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(804): View more from Virginia

i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive

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(515): View more from Iowa

Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!

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(217): View more from Illinois

He passed out in my car.

(1-217): View more from Illinois

What's the problem?

(217): View more from Illinois

HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.

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