Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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