ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
