There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize