he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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