you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sex in the backyard? Check.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
