It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
