You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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