So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
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i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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