I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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