How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
