My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
