Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
