I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The convent might be a nice break from real life
and you fell through a lawn chair
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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