Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
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