what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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