This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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