Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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