just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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