but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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