I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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