Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
