Need sex. Gaining weight.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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