Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
