I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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