Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Your tits are I can't wait for
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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