What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
