God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
