Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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