Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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