I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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