Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
